My two favorite cheeses

King Island Roaring 40's Australian Blue

Unlike typical French blue cheeses (e.g. Roquefort) made from ewe's milk, Roaring 40's Blue is made entirely from cow's milk which gives it a milder taste. Roaring Forties is a full bodied blue with a honeyed, slightly nutty quality and great aftertaste. Great with wine and with crusty bagette. So delicious, you can really taste the nutty flavor!

Humboldt Fog Goat Cheese

Named for the morning vapor rising from the ocean in Humboldt county of Northern California where the cheese is produced, Humboldt Fog is first and foremost a chevre or goat's cheese, with the distinct characteristics of a dry, chalky, ghost-white young curd and slightly acidic goat milk tang. Immediately identifiable by its medium-sized wheel, center vein and outer rind of ash, and ripening white goat curd from the outside in, Humbodlt Fog can be quickly picked out of a line up (at least I am yet to see its Doppelgänger). The riper this chese gets, the more the drier inside becomes soft, creamy and runny. Ripe is good. Ripe is more flavorful, more complex, more pungent.

Bank Robbery, a true tribute to Halloween

I work in the financial district. Yesterday around 1 pm there was a lot of police in front of our building, and a lot of FBI (they don't have uniforms and their cars are not marked, but somehow they are still easy to spot.) Here is a note released to tenants: "...Please be aware that our bank on the street level was robbed earlier today at around 1:00pm. The perpetrator was Caucasian, dressed in black with face paint on similar to the "Joker"..."

Let me see, if I can profile him... he watched "The Dark Night" movie... Police should now hit all Halloween parties in the city and get a list of all Caucasian men wearing "Joker" costumes. He is unlikely to invest in a different outfit considering how appropriate this one is for Halloween. What a fun assignment for an undercover officer on Halloween!

Ma vie en rose

Sonechka is an angel when she is sleeping... too bad that she prefers to be up half the night.

Miss Giggles... she makes everybody so happy with her laugh. She has a vibrato when she laughs that is absolutely adorable.

I am not sleepy!

My lovely husband strikes again with his beautifully arranged worn (aka dirty socks) on the living room chair. This time he throws in a pair of shorts to serve as a contrasting background (a patriotic arrangement in terms of color combination.)

Raining -- we haven't seen rain in 6 months

I am happy there is finally rain... I have missed rain, we hadn't heard the drops drumming against my office window in over 6 months. I want to enjoy autumn. I feel deprived of the intoxicating cocktail of colorful foliage (my body, as that of an alcoholic, is craving some color: reds, oranges, yellows, burgundies, ....where is this nectar for my soul?) San Francisco does not tempt me with addictive fall weather (bright, crisp, sunny, cold... mild and so delicious.) I am here confused and lost in-between seasons all year long. It hurts especially during fall and spring (I have not seen or smelled the gentle scent of Coltsfoot or Mать-и-мачеха in 15 years!) Spring is a different nostalgic post though that is coming Spring 2009, if I am still blogging.

Three dreams in one night

1) I am a teenager and in love with a young gangster. The background to the dream is ghetto streets at night... It is apparent that we had been together and in love for a while. The police enters the scene and starts questioning neighbors and passers by about the whereabouts of my gangster lover boy. In the process they state all the horrific crimes he is accused of, and guess what... I don't only tell them where he is hiding, but also volunteer additional information to further incriminate him. The final scene I am sitting alone on the stairs of some ghetto home on a really dark street with only one street light and crying for my lost love....

2) Geriatric Dream....
I am a teenager again visiting one of my relatives (an elderly female) in a nursing home. I visit the nursing home several times, but only get to see this old woman once, the other times I am told to come back some other time. I enter the room, a very bright room that looks like a sunroom or menagerie... a lot of elderly people are crammed into it, but it looks more like a party, some a drinking martinis. The woman I am visiting has snow white hair, a white button up dress/robe and a light blue cardigan. She is sharing a large chair with two other women that seem to know me, but I have a hard time placing them. I give all three a kiss hello, but the woman I am there to see, doesn't look at me. She keeps staring out of the glass window. She doesn't recognize me... I have a chat with two of her friends and leave... At some point in my dream, I get confused whether I am the teenager or , in fact, the old woman lost in her thoughts.

3) I forgot this part while I was typing... will add it later, if I remember.

Oh yes, it had something to do with a man in his forties wanting to have an affair with me... this was not as strange, as the other parts of the dream...

Family Shots

Sonik's "messy" hair look... straight from the "Afternoon Nap Hair Salon"

West side... Peace out...

Mommy, I want to go outside!

Vadim is addicted to "Ananasovye" (chocolate candy)... Look at the giant jar of them that he keeps all to himself.

Masha and her friend Michelle (they have known each other since they were born... Masha is only 1 month older.)

Déjà vu

I think most people have experienced déjà vu, and an overwhelming majority of them would know the term that has found its way into many languages. One of my acquaintances has never heard the term. Confronted with it, she kept asking if it was someone's first or last name... she couldn't grasp the concept of déjà vu... and she was 62 years old. How is that possible when we are all surrounded by the same words, similar experiences? I felt embarrassed for some reason... she kept pressing trying to understand it, and yet couldn't... and there were more and more people there trying to explain. I am going to go home and teach this to my kids!

Blinchiki recipe

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp kosher salt (or 3/4 tsp table salt)
1 tsp sugar
2 large eggs
1 cup cold milk
1 cup cold water
4 Tbsp oil
Butter for frying

In a large bowl, mix flour, salt, and sugar.
Beat in eggs and milk into flour using a whisk. Beat until no lumps remain.
Beat in the water. The mixture should be the consistency of light cream. If too thick, beat in another 1-2 Tbsp of water. Fry on a really hot pan!

Really good and easy! My kids love these with jam or sugar.

Sonik's halloween costume!

The family writes a poem together for Anton's school project

RAIN

I am praying for some rain
As the days are getting hotter.
Dried up rivers bring me pain
Nowhere to get water.

I have weak and thirsty plants
Trying to break through scorching earth.
That gives my family no chance
My crops…my animals… everything’s lost.

My dying land, my withering trees,
My thirsty horses, empty long house,
My children’s faces covered with tears…
The hope fades. God, help my doubts!

Our collaborative effort
October 26, 2007

Weekend Events

Typical weekend - busy and fun:

Saturday:
Masha's Swim Meet in Orinda - her first swim meet! Masha and Daddy did great (in an outdoor pool when it was 60F!)
Sofia's Halloween Party at the USCF -- Sofi went as a Piglet. She got to meet a beautiful little girl named Zoe, so cute! I hope they become friends. Jeff and Karyn, Zoe's parents, seemed wonderful and I hope that we get to know each other. We left the party at 513 Parnassus and I walked all the way to grandparents' home (4 miles!!) I figured my lovely days of walking with a stroller are practically over and I wanted to take advantage of the sunny day in SF.
Anton's Soccer Game -- well, sigh. We lost with a ridiculous score, but thankfully the season is almost over. Anton did OK, but his heel seems to be bothering him more lately. We will need to investigate that.
Karaoke Night at Shimberg's - we had a great time! Lots of people came, lots of singing and laughing. I hope we do it again soon.

Vadik got into an argument with Fima over the location of his car placard.... They are so funny when they fight.

Sunday:

Hockey Game (home) against Santa Clara (the best team in the league.) We lost 11:1...ha ha, Anton scored the only goal... but still, painful. Kesha stopped by, Anton says he is his good luck charm. Funny!

Stopped by the parent's home to pick up the baby. I missed her so much. I cannot be away from her at all, I have a physical addiction to this warm and sweet smelling olive colored baby flesh.

Vadik took the kids to Taco Bell and window shopped a little. Stopped by Mervins (all stores are closing)because Anton needs new shoes, but unfortunately there was nothing worth looking at.

Anton had two projects: to write a poem about Rain and make a diorama about Indians (I will post the poem we co-wrote shortly.)

Yasha stopped by for his monthly visit. Later Igor and Ira came by -- we had a good time! For the first time I made blinchiki that turned out good, so we had some tea with blinchiki. They are such a great couple, sweet and funny... just genuinly kind people! (Vadik even shared his "ananasnye" with them, which is a sign that he feels these are truly special friends!)

Now I am just sitting here, exhausted after such a busy weekend... but so happy to have had so much time with my husband, my kids, my friends. I am too tired to practice any of the creative writing stuff, so this is just a brief recap.

Gorky's Burevestnik

All Russian kids studied this poem in school. It had a lot of references to proletariat, revolution and other things, but also was a good literary piece.

Song of the Stormy Petrel by Maxim Gorky.

High above the silvery ocean winds are gathering the storm-clouds, and between the clouds and ocean proudly wheels the Stormy Petrel, like a streak of sable lightning.
Now his wing the wave caresses, now he rises like an arrow, cleaving clouds and crying fiercely, while the clouds detect a rapture in the bird's courageous crying.
In that crying sounds a craving for the tempest! Sounds the flaming of his passion, of his anger, of his confidence in triumph.
The gulls are moaning in their terror--moaning, darting o'er the waters, and would gladly hide their horror in the inky depths of ocean.
And the grebes are also moaning. Not for them the nameless rapture of the struggle. They are frightened by the crashing of the thunder.
And the foolish penguins cower in the crevices of rocks, while alone the Stormy Petrel proudly wheels above the ocean, o'er the silver-frothing waters.
Ever lower, ever blacker, sink the storm clouds to the sea, and the singing waves are mounting in their yearning toward the thunder.
Strikes the thunder. Now the waters fiercely battle with the winds. And the winds in fury seize them in unbreakable embrace, hurtling down the emerald masses to be shattered on the cliffs.
Like a streak of sable lightning wheels and cries the Stormy Petrel, piercing storm-clouds like an arrow, cutting swiftly through the waters.
He is coursing like a Demon, the black Demon of the tempest, ever laughing, ever sobbing--he is laughing at the storm-clouds, he is sobbing with his rapture.
In the crashing of the thunder the wise Demon hears a murmur of exhaustion. And he knows the storm will die and the sun will be triumphant; the sun will always be triumphant!
The waters roar. The thunder crashes. Livid lightning flares in storm clouds high above the seething ocean, and the flaming darts are captured and extinguished by the waters, while the serpentine reflections writhe, expiring, in the deep.
It's the storm! The storm is breaking!
Still the valiant Stormy Petrel proudly wheels amond the lightning, o'er the roaring, raging ocean, and his cry resounds exultant, like a prophecy of triumph--
Let it break in all its fury!
1901

We were at a party speaking to one of the Russians that was only a couple years younger than me... Vadim and I kept trying to jog his memory of Gorky..."Mother" "Life of Klim Samgin"... there was no reaction, which was very odd. We finally threw at him "The Song"... all kids had to memorize this piece of poetry and could recite it by heart 30 years later without any difficulty. Well, the guy wanted to be rid of us, I guess, so he said: "YES!!! I used to sing it!" Vadim and I burst out laughing because clearly this was not a "singing" song, but rather an Ode. I suspect that he is not really Russian. Was he an FBI trainee whose cover was blown because of how perceptive Vadim and I are? Might have been.....(Not really, he married one of our friends... that would have been taking one's occupation a little too far.)

If you know Russian, please enjoy this poem reminiscent of our Soviet childhood in my native language:

Песня о Буревестнике

Над седой равниной моря ветер тучи собирает. Между тучами и морем гордо реет Буревестник, черной молнии подобный. То крылом волны касаясь, то стрелой взмывая к тучам, он кричит, и -тучи слышат радость в смелом крике птицы. В этом крике - жажда бури! Силу гнева, пламя страсти и уверенность в победе слышат тучи в этом крике. Чайки стонут перед бурей, - стонут, мечутся над морем и на дно его готовы спрятать ужас свой пред бурей. И гагары тоже стонут, - им, гагарам, недоступно наслажденье битвой жизни: гром ударов их пугает. Глупый пингвин робко прячет тело жирное в утесах... Только гордый Буревестник реет смело и свободно над седым от пены морем! Всё мрачней и ниже тучи опускаются над морем, и поют, и рвутся волны к высоте навстречу грому. Гром грохочет. В пене гнева стонут волны, с ветром споря. Вот охватывает ветер стаи волн объятьем крепким и бросает их с размаху в дикой злобе на утесы, разбивая в пыль и брызги изумрудные громады. Буревестник с криком реет, черной молнии подобный, как стрела пронзает тучи, пену волн крылом срывает. Вот он носится, как демон, - гордый, черный демон бури, - и смеется, и рыдает... Он над тучами смеется, он от радости рыдает! В гневе грома, - чуткий демон, - он давно усталость слышит, он уверен, что не скроют тучи солнца, - нет, не скроют! Ветер воет... Гром грохочет... Синим пламенем пылают стаи туч над бездной моря. Море ловит стрелымолний и в своей пучине гасит. Точно огненные змеи, вьются в море, исчезая, отраженья этих молний. - Буря! Скоро грянет буря! Это смелый Буревестник гордо реет между молний над ревущим гневно морем; то кричит пророк победы: - Пусть сильнее грянет буря!..
1901

Who cares about money anyway?

As a family, we are so lucky and we have so much to be thankful for. If I didn't have what I have, I would pay all the money in the world to have this and would quite possibly sacrifice any of my extremities by chewing them off with my own teeth for the things that truly count:

1) I have three wonderful children
2) The health problems that my children have are manageable and do not impact their life
3) I have a wonderful loving husband
4) Both sets of our parents are alive and in fairly good health
5) I have wonderful friends and abundance of love and support all around
6) I am safe because I live in a country where there is peace and no shortage of food or clean water
7) Even though my family lives in Russia, I get to see them quite often and speak to them daily

We are so happy right now, I am really having the time of my life (if only I could have a job that is a little more in sync with my nature and my desire to be productive.)

P.S. I have been buying only the absolute necessities since July (so for 4 months now!) and I love it! We really need so little.

Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen six, result happiness. Charles Dickens (1812-1870)

401k Statements

They arrived yesterday... There was a moment of silence while both Vadim and I processed the news... a drop of 30% in value over a period of one quarter. We both must have looked frightened to the point that our middle (the more intuitive and sensitive) child had to inquire whether we were poor now. WE ARE! Our retirement funds (that are all our money, as the company does not have a matching 401k) are dwindling faster than our Halloween candy in a bowl sitting within reach of three kids and two adult chocoholics. Well, the e-mail just went out to our 401k administrator to lower my contributions to ...0%. If I am meant to lose all my money, I want to do it in style and my way! I refuse to lead protozoan existance in the murky financial waters ruled by corrupt financial gluttons and billion-dollar monstrosities. Is anyone organizing a protest against this bullshit (preferrably virtual and without donation solicitation)?

Tragedy...

One of the people I used to work with is going through a horrible time in his life... it is unexplainable how tragedy sometimes grips a person's life into its torturous strong hold and sucks all the living juices out of it until just bare dried up fibers are hanging off of a griefstricken face... My former co-worker is fighting cancer... a lot of people who have been affected by this monstrous disease know that this is an all consuming battle for one's life. What can be worse one will ask? Well, a few days ago his son (a young married ivy league school graduate) went out with his friends and decided to experiment with a morphine patch by putting it on his tongue. His brain is now permanently damaged. My heart just aches for the family that has already so much to deal with.

Pulling my hair out

It is 10 pm and I am sitting here with Anton trying to get through his homework. As a result of his hockey practice (have I mentioned recently how much I truly hate hockey now??) we got home late, ate late, and now doing his homework extremely late. My son has the worst handwriting I have ever seen in my life. I cannot decipher what he writes if my life depended on it, it drives me insane! It literally looks like a bird got into some ink and waltzed down a piece of paper. God, help me!!

"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." Herm Albright

Mondays... sigh

Mondays always make me think about how wonderful it would be to make some changes to my life. My job is getting me down. I cannot see the sun (not much opportunity in SF as is) because there is a cloud of "executives" swarming around my head to get the work done. Get out there and do some work yourselves, you might enjoy it and learn something in the process.

I went to lunch with my hubby, that was a highlight of the day. It is interesting walking down the street with him as we keep constantly encountering people he knows (as if we are not in the financial district in SF, but rather in some village in Iceland.) ... who was the blonde waitress energetically waving at him I wonder?... hmmmm

Coco

Sonechka is just like Coco, the gorilla. When we ask Sonia what her name is, she pounds on her chest in a Tarzan fashion and says "Baby... Baby" It is so cute! She is unbelievably smart and funny, and we enjoy her as I don't think we ever enjoyed anything in our lives. When Anton and Masha were little like that, we were too stressed and too worried. We are a lot more relaxed now and we have fun watching her grow.

By the way, "baby" and "cookie" are the only two words she knows in English.

Horrible Mother

Sonia had a rough night again last night: tossing and turning, crying, sobbing, moving, drinking her milk... and lots of pacifier action. I went to lie down with her while Vadim was still watching TV and tried to comfort her the best I could. She is not terribly cuddly when she is irritated, but I tried my very best. Well, after several sleepless nights my ability to stay alert was gone completely and I fell asleep. I was woken up a couple of times: once by a foot being stuck right into my open mouth, the second time.... from a very loud bang -- that was Sonia hitting the floor (she must have rolled right off the bed in her sleep.) Oh My God! I am in complete shock, this is the first time this ever happened to me. The baby is ok. We had a regular check-up with her doctor and he didn't notice any signs of trauma or anything (how could he notice anything when she was screaming bloody murder from the moment we entered the office until the moment the clinic was out of her sight?) She is fine, but I am still in shock... what a horrible mother I am! To kick the self-torture and guilt up a notch, I shared the incident with my mother-in-law...

Cardiology Appointment

Sonik's cardio appointment went well. I always dread those. Both Sonik and I suffer from anxiety when it comes to doctors! She behaved perfectly though. It is so much easier now that she actually listens to what I say and understands what needs to be done....but ONLY IN RUSSIAN! Echo, EKG, blood pressures... Sonia tolerated everything with utmost patience. I am so proud of my baby! I think we are cardio appointment free for at least 6 months.

Baby Sonik is under the weather

My Sonechka seems a little sick... when she is a little sick, she makes A LOT of trouble especially during the night. It is such a huge difference between my normally agreeable and sweet child and this screaming monster that appears at the first signs of illness. My heart breaks to see her that way... it also breaks for that poor lad that will marry her! This irritable annoyed dissatisfied child is guaranteed to come out at least once a month and torture her mate. Vadim thought that I was bad, but I believe both of my girls, but especially Sonia, will surpass me in bitchiness hands down. Yes, these two angelic looking females are the ones I am talking about!

Husband's socks

My favorite man in the whole world loves leaving his worn (dirty) socks in the most unexpected of places... like his office chair... the bed... the living room sofa... I love how he always nicely puts one on top of the other as if to make sure they are nicely arranged and aesthetically pleasing when someone (I!!!!!) finds them. Like a little surprise! Like an inspiring still life - a tribute to domestication! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Obama for me

Who should you vote for?

Barack Obama				78
John McCain	-84

You expected: Barack Obama
Your recommendation: Barack Obama

Party: Democratic
Born: 1961, Honolulu, Hawaii
Family: wife and two daughters
Career: Business International Corporation; NYPIRG; attorney and constitutional law lecturer
Political career: Member of the Illinois State Senate from the 13th district, 1997-2004. Incumbent Junior Senator from Illinois since 2005
Hot topic: Universal healthcare
Did you know? He is the only African American currently serving in the US Senate
Supported by: Oprah Winfrey, Eddie Murphy, Will Smith, George Clooney, Halle Berry, Scarlett Johansson, Morgan Freeman, Michael Jordan, Jamie Foxx, Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Ed Norton, Jennifer Aniston, Zach Braff, John Cleese, Leonard Nimoy and Brooke Shields

Allergic to Holidays

I am allergic to Holidays. I don't enjoy them one bit. I don't like fireworks, crowds, gifts, cakes with candles, playing dress-up, shopping, stress, staying up until midnight, formal dinners... I like everyday life and spontaneous visits of friends and family, nothing planned, nothing expected. With holiday season just around the corner I am slowly getting irritated. Can I boycott the holidays this year? Will this traumatize my kids? I have to think this through.

Judgemental Post

I am a rather opinionated person and, as such, less tolerant and open-minded than I wished to be. I am judgemental, but I reserve the right to pass any judgement that I want (not publicly, but within the intertwined corridors of my intelligence and my conscience.) I view everything through the prism of my own life, of my expectations towards myself and people around me. In a way that is setting oneself up for some serious disillusionment later on in life. I am almost 33 years old and I am a naive romantic maximalist. I am nauseated by infidelity, by lies, by abuse and cruelty... i fall apart when I hear of unwanted children or animals and weep when I hear happy endings to those stories...

Today it is infidelity of a friend... I cannot even bring myself to look at the woman or say hello to her... I feel sick to my stomach and completely unwilling to understand her. I am also a lot more tolerant of the man in this situation, why? Is it because it is expected? I am so predictable and so childish. I want to lock myself in a bright pink castle of my illusions and stay there. I fear facing these people because I would then have to examine myself and question my life. And I absolutely refuse to do that, judging others is a much easier task.

Weekend notes

My weekends are always overwhelming. I wonder if one of my single friends complaining of loneliness could handle a three day weekend like mine. I doubt it! Not because I am any sort of hero, I am sure I would have a hell of a time if I were "wife-swapped" into a family with 9 kids.

The weather was so beautiful. We have hot days and cool nights, the October weather is wonderful, but I miss my change in seasons. There is no color explosion in the Golden Gate park or anywhere in the city, the leaves just kind of go from green to brown and then fall off onto the city streets making them look unappealing and dirty. I cannot even get my melancholy waves as there is nothing that triggers my emotions, nothing at all that reminds me of Pushkin's "ochei ocharovanie..." I did find one tree and drowned my camera in the branches!



We went to the beach for the afternoon, but we are becoming less and less of an outdoorsy family... I don't see anybody having an incredibly good time. Somehow, we love our house so much that given an opportunity all of us would probably retract back into the safety of our "home shell."


My son is gaining his confidence back and it makes me so happy! He had a hard year last year in terms of his team sports, his health, his friendships, etc. This year is so much better! He loves his hockey team, he fits in, he scored two goals on Saturday, a goal and several assists on Sunday (and overall just picking up speed!) I am so happy. He is very athletic, but he is also a shy boy playing contact sports (a very hard thing to do!) Here is a pic from this weekend - playing tennis with Dad.





My girls had fun, but there was a healthy dose of bickering, tears, screaming, hugging, running around and getting bumps and bruises...







My husband was giving himself a creative haircut-shave combo with random patches of hair left all over his head! Looks very chic, no?

"Bronx Tale"... in San Francisco

Last night Vadim and I and his sister and her husband decided to have a night out on the town. We were going to La Scene restaurant (a nice French place near Union Square) and later were seeing "Bronx Tale" at the Golden Gate theater. GG Theater is located in the heart of the Tenderloin... very colourful neighborhood, but can be somewhat dangerous at night. Well, little did we know that a little French place might be a magnet for "white-color" robbers! We were having a really nice dinner. Vadik's scallops were amazing, I enjoyed my caprese salad and butternut squash soup with a glass of Pepperwood Grove Viognier, Vika had an apple martini, Ahi Tuna Tartare and a soup, and Pavlik had Ahi Tuna steak. The desserts were amazing: passion fruit sorbet with pieces of passion fruit and an absolutely delicious Crème Brûlée with candied orange peel... SO GOOD... Well in the middle of enjoying this feast, a Middle Eastern looking man comes into the restaurant wearing a nice shirt and trousers and confidently walks towards our table located right in the middle of the restaurant. He then proceeds to pass us only to turn around a second later and say "Oops... wrong door." None of us except my husband paid enough attention to notice that in the process he grabbed Vika's purse and proceeded to leave the restaurant in a calm manner. Thank God for Vadik being so quick (all those video games I tell you!) He screamed "He took your purse!!" and ran after the guy, who casually dropped the purse and left the building. What a crazy and unexpected situation! Be aware of your surroundings regardless of where you are.

The play was great! I really felt the raw emotion of this young boy, it's amazing when a person talks about his own experience of growing up Italian in the Bronx. It also showed how multi layered people are... there are no black and white when it comes to people, we are a colorful bunch.

[as C walks out of Sonny's funeral] Sonny and my father always said that when I get older I would understand. Well, I finally did. I learned something from these two men. I learned to give love and get love unconditionally. You just have to accept people for what they are, and I learned the greatest gift of all. The saddest thing in life is wasted talent, and the choices that you make will shape your life forever. But you can ask anybody from my neighborhood, and they'll just tell you this is just another Bronx tale.

Enjoying a walk with my husband in sunny SF!

It is so difficult to stay connected with my husband when we are constantly trying to keep three little flea bugs under supervision. We love each other very much and obviously share the same goal (not to lose sight of the flea bugs, keep them healthy, fed, educated and jumping for joy.) However, there are days when we miss each other.... I think both of us have been under a lot of pressure and hitting midlife crisis of sorts... wanting change... wanting peace.... sense of accomplishment... sense of stability... some adventure... Unfortunately, sometimes we forget how much we have and how incredibly grateful we should be for the good jobs, good family, good health. Greed (not monetary, but emotional) does motivate, but also robs you of pleasure that only living in the moment brings.

Today, I enjoyed my moment with the love of my life... we went for a walk around San Francisco... enjoyed catching a glance of San Francisco "busy bees" catching a 10-minute lunch in the financial district... some homeless people smiling up at the sun looking very content... a few tourists having a time of their life. It felt so nice to actually hold hands and be out there even if it was just for a few minutes.

One day in retrospect

My two girls are such good friends... for the most part. Sonik dominates the relationship of course... she does dominate pretty much every relationship as we jump at her every whim. Look how generous she is with her cheerios! Sonik is so super active now, running around and getting into everything. Finally, we got the gate installed to protect our precious Sonik-Slonik from getting to the stairs. Daddy and Anton got it assembled over the weekend. What a team!

Look at my daughter's beautiful auburn chestnut locks! I like to bury my face in her hair and smell the freshness of rain, wind and baby yogurt (Sonik is a huge yogurt fan.) I always find stashes of cheerios hidden in the tight curls in the back...

What a mess!

Masha has the stomach flu, but she seems to be feeling much better! Today, however, has been a strange day filled with mishaps. My wonderful 9-year old daughter who does know all too well the dangers of the old-fashioned mercury filled thermometers, managed to drop one and break it sending a thousand mercury balls rolling around the room. Hmmm... very dangerous... I sent everybody out of the room and started the big clean-up. This was the first time I had to clean-up hazardous materials... equipped with rubber gloves, I started trying to connect the little balls into one large one. I used Sonik's nose cleaning syringe to pick up the ball, the rest of them were picked up by two pieces of paper.... Now mercury, the broken thermometer, syringe, gloves, paper are all sealed in two zip-lock bags and sitting outside. I have to investigate where I am supposed to take this waste now. What a hassle! I do like the old-fashioned thermometers as I always get an accurate reading, unlike the battery operated ones that actually are only accurate when the battery is brand new. But now I will have to rethink the whole thing. This was quite a nightmare. Masha was terrified of the health consequences as well as my anger (poor baby)... to tell the truth I was annoyed.

Masha is under the weather

Masha seems not to be feeling good. I might have to keep her out of school tomorrow. It will be a day with my girls... taking care of them... loving them... I am a little excited although I am not happy Masha is catching some strange bug! I need a glass of wine... Au revoir!


From: masha@hotmail.comTo: mama@hotmail.comSubject: Date: Mon, 6 Oct 2008 12:16:02 -0600

dear mom that makes me feel better

From: mama@hotmail.comTo: masha@hotmail.comSubject: Date: Sun, 5 Oct 2008 21:35:59 -0700

Masha, I just wanted to tell you that I love you so much and I hope that you feel better soon... My heart breaks whenenver I hear that you are not feeling good. All my love, Mama.

Mama and Sonik love lazy Saturdays outside!

My baby Sonik is a champ when it comes to walking! I am amazed at how quickly this little baby is turning into a little lady. I love the baby stage, but I am happy to admit that this toddlerhood is even more enjoyable for me. She has developed quite a personality and now she proudly puts it on display whenever there is an audience. Sonik is a delight for my soul!

Anton and Masha are busy as usual. Anton with hockey (scored 1 goal) and soccer (scored 1 goal.) He moves with the speed of light and it is hard to capture him on film when he flies by. Masha is as usual the QUEEN of Social Butterflies. She is at the friends house, her friend is at our house, she is on the phone, on the computer... she is everywhere in hopes to stay connected to the world on 24/7 basis.

My Middle Child

My Masha is the most beautiful girl in the world and the most spirited and strong-willed person I know. I am in awe of her strength. She does not give in easily and always has an opinion about every single thing. At the same time she is a sweet and caring girl, the best older sister any baby could wish for. Sonik is so lucky! Anton teases Masha, but I think he also admires her a great deal. In her fights with us, she pretty much always has the last word... while Anton is more sensitive and falls apart while trying to confront parental unfairness. Masha is the loveliest example of a woman-to-be. I think she is a gem as far as any suitors are concerned, but I hope she does more than wife/mother duties as she truly possesses the most incredible intelligence+endurance+likability combination. I love my daughter so much and I am so proud of her for being who she is.

thinking inside the box

Create your own visitor map!

Sonik is a picky eater!

My baby does not feed herself much. I think it comes from overzealous efforts demonstrated by grandma. I am convinced that Sonia gets fed 1/4 of her body mass on a daily basis.... If I wanted to, I could produce proof by weighing her potty! Oh My God! One would think that it could not possibly be a cute little one-year old girl producing these massive amounts of poop... more like a fully grown African elephant. Any time I offer her food to eat on her own, she throws it on the floor... she does eat a little bit of cereal and some cookies now and then, but we are a long ways away from eating independently.

Here is one attempt in feeding herself.

And then....

Living in the moment

Sonik is trying to enjoy her bath... not for long, she is back up to a standing position in 2 seconds

My Hubby's idea of getting the baby ready for bed?

Diaper Check: Poopy or not?

My husband woke up in a puddle of milk this morning. You could have guessed, the baby yet again migrated into our bed in the middle of the night with all her gear consisting of her blanket, pacifier and a bottle of milk. I should hang one of those cup holders on the headboard of the bed to keep the bottle in.

My husband and I have been experiencing some severe mood swings... the good thing is that we are harmoniously swinging in opposite directions. Today is one of my low days. Hubby on the other hand is enjoying his day (maybe because it was started by a very satisfying display of fireworks between him and his mom.)