Motherhood

As a mother of 3, I now:

- can do 100m breast stroke in a pool of urine and baby pooh in under 30 sec... when the baby poos in the bathtub full of water and toys, I actually have a routine down of getting the baby out, rinsing the baby, getting the baby ready for bed, fishing every little bit of poop out of the bathtub with my bare hands, letting the water out, rinsing the tub with clorox bleach solution, rinsing the tub with water, washing all of the toys with soap and water, scrubbing my hands clean... all of this can be done in under 5 minutes (hard to believe, eh?)
- have such high tolerance of puke, that I can walk into a job interview after a morning of being showered with projectile vomiting and not have that phase me one bit...
- very opportunistic when it comes to sex... I am really quite a virtuosa: I have been known to rock the bouncy seat, sing, feed, and do a lot more while enjoying my husbands affections
- I can go months without getting a single night of sleep... it has been over 16 months now and the concept of uninterrupted sleep is simply lost
- I can make my house look picked up in a matter of minutes in true Cat In The Hat manner