Horrible Mother

Sonia had a rough night again last night: tossing and turning, crying, sobbing, moving, drinking her milk... and lots of pacifier action. I went to lie down with her while Vadim was still watching TV and tried to comfort her the best I could. She is not terribly cuddly when she is irritated, but I tried my very best. Well, after several sleepless nights my ability to stay alert was gone completely and I fell asleep. I was woken up a couple of times: once by a foot being stuck right into my open mouth, the second time.... from a very loud bang -- that was Sonia hitting the floor (she must have rolled right off the bed in her sleep.) Oh My God! I am in complete shock, this is the first time this ever happened to me. The baby is ok. We had a regular check-up with her doctor and he didn't notice any signs of trauma or anything (how could he notice anything when she was screaming bloody murder from the moment we entered the office until the moment the clinic was out of her sight?) She is fine, but I am still in shock... what a horrible mother I am! To kick the self-torture and guilt up a notch, I shared the incident with my mother-in-law...